John 21: 7

John 21:7 That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea.

This is the second time (recorded in the Bible) that Peter got out of the boat and threw himself into the sea after having seen and recognized the Lord.

The first time he jumped out of the boat (Matthew 14: 29), he walked on water until fear gripped his heart after seeing the wind and the waves. The second time he jumped out, we don’t know if he walked on water or swam, but he got to the shore somehow.

This “second time” gives us a more complete picture. What these 2 stories seem to reveal goes beyond Peter’s faith (or lack of it) – they reveal his heart’s desire. I don’t think it was about having enough faith to walk on water. I don’t think it was about being strong enough to overcome the problems of life.

Peter’s heart’s desire was revealed and it was simply to be with the Lord – he saw the Lord and just wanted to be there with him. And he was so ready to abandon whatever he had (the big catch that he and others were pulling in) – just to be with Jesus.

As I go through the treatment and wait for the transplant, I cannot hide the fact that I feel useless – that my life has been put on hold – that I’m not being productive and I’m wasting a big chunk of my life – that I don’t know when I’ll be “normal” again – that my life is at the mercy of the donor. And I cannot hide the fact that I can’t seem to shake off the number 35 – 65% (national average) of the people do not make it after the transplant.

I don’t have the faith to walk on water, nor am I strong enough to overcome these emotional attacks when they come. But I do desire to be with Jesus (here on earth !!!), and I pray that God would continue to protect me from these factors and help me stay focused on Jesus.

a delay

Due to some complications, my transplant date has been moved back to June 12th.

Looking for an apt/condo

I'll stay in the hospital for 3 weeks after the transplant, and after I get discharged from the hospital, I will need to stay within 20 minutes from the Hutch for follow-ups.

So, I've been calling and visiting apartments that do short-term rentals, but they are all full. I put my name of their wait-list, but there were already several names ahead of mine.

If you are/or if you know someone who is renting out an apartment or a condo near south Lake Union area, please email me (opkwon@gmail.com) the address of the apartment and contact information. I'll need the apartment from mid/end of June to mid September. Thank you.

Done with the tests

Before I go through the transplant procedure, they need to make sure that my body is strong and healthy enough for the transplant, so they've been testing my body and internal organs during the past 2 weeks. And the results showed that I am in good condition - my heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, intestines, bone marrow, teeth, etc. are in perfect condition. So, I am a very healthy person except for leukemia.

I didn't have to do any of the "more detailed" tests.

This week, I have couple of blood tests, consulations with doctors, dental scaling, an educational seminar, and the final data review with my attending doctor.

My attending doctor, Dr. Storb, is an amazing person. He is one of the founding doctors of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, and now he is over 70 years old. But every morning he rows 5 miles to work. Hutch is located by the south end of the Union Lake, and he has a house on the other side of the lake, so he rows his boat to work every day - even in winter (it doesn't get too cold in Seattle).

Today

At the Hutch, they draw blood twice a week (Mon & Thurs). And this past Monday's white blood cell count was still lower than "normal" but the nurse said that it was good enough for me to eat restaurant food as long as I take some precautions. And she said, "enjoy food while you can - before the next chemotherapy."

Today, we ventured out to Chipotle in Federal Way for lunch. I had a fajita burrito and it was good, and it felt good. I was surprised that I was craving for a burrito. Then we went to get some coffee at Barnes & Noble. We didn't get to see Joe but Bobby was the barista.

Then we went to the Hutch.

Today was a good day.

Transplant fund

The total amount people have given so far to my transplant fund is $54,787. I don't have the full list of the donors yet, but I want to thank everyone who has so generously given to the fund. On Wednesday, I was so grateful to God and to all of you as I was making the first payment ($46,000) at the Hutch.